Crazy love
by redayo
Summary: This is a original story m/m sex and mental health issues read at own risk I am only submitting chapter one let me know if anyone want to read the rest is a full story. Again mental health issues and m/m sex this is a gay romance...


Disclaimer: The excessive sex in this book is not typical. Many medications have sexual side effects that are not present in this book. Mental Health issues are a serious problem for many that I take very seriously. This story can be sad at times, read at your own risk.

Chapter One

Jared sat with his feet up off the floor on the weird couch that felt like plastic foam. The social worker was talking about something called Distress Tolerance Model. Thoughts and feelings, Jared stopped paying attention. He had been admitted to Harbor Oaks mental hospital five days ago or maybe it was six. He couldn't remember. He had spent the week before that in the hospital and had on some scrub like clothes that the hospital provided. His ankles and wrists were healing from the bruises and cuts; and the bite marks on his shoulders and neck were just angry red scars now; the black eye was slowly fading too bad the memories did not fade as quickly as the bruises on his body; he tried not to think about how he got here.

He glanced around the room. There had to be at least 10 people in the room all sitting in a big circle on the weird blue couches. The social worker sat with them discussing different ways to cope with stress. Jared could see more people wandering outside the door. Patient were coming in and going out of the meeting room the door slamming shut each time. _You would think they would fix that; the slamming driving crazy people even crazier._ The room was loud and chaotic the people coming in and out of the room would either sit down to join the group or to talk with another patient you could barely hear what the social worker was saying, not that I was listening. In the week that I have been here I have seen all types of people; old, young, some looked like street people, like me. You would see them in the same clothes every day. Some looked from the better population, bringing stuff from home and getting visitors.

I am 23 years old and basically homeless. I'm crazy I guess too; no surprise there really. The doctor keeps using words like manic and Bipolar and say I have to take pills for it. I don't know what they're talkin about half the time. I thought I was here because of what Todd did to me; I rub my hand through my hair; it felt short, buzzed, when did that happen? Oh yeah they shaved my head at the hospital to get the duct tape off.

I guess it's not normal to have the same thought going over and over in your head they call it racing thoughts and to talk a lot. I know it pissed Todd off all the time when I would get like that. I got my ass beat plenty of times for it that's for sure. I was like that that night, talking too much my mind racing, jumping from one subject to another; Todd was sick of my shit and told me; straight up, if I kept bugging him he was gonna kick my ass; but I couldn't help it; there was too much going on; Todd was having a party; it was loud and people were everywhere, drinking; smoking dope or meth or whatever. I was jumpy; manic I guess, I don't even think I said anything; just my nervous bouncing and fidgeting was enough for him to grab a fistful of my hair and drag me down the hall to the back bedroom.

The only steady place I can stay at is with Todd; I met him five years ago when I had turned eighteen, and was free of the foster care system; the State of Michigan no longer had to take care of me, I was an adult now; I sure didn't feel like one; I didn't know anyone; I had no family that I knew of and no job. I didn't know how to take care of myself, I moved to so many different foster care homes and schools that I kinda fell on some cracks. No one will let you stay with them if you're not working and I was stupid; I couldn't read or write so I never graduated high school. I couldn't fill out an application to get a job, or rent a place; nothin…so I just lived on the streets; I slept in abandon houses and ate out of garbage dumpsters for almost a month before I met Todd; just in time to, cause winter was comin.

Todd was my first boyfriend if you could call him that; that's what I called him; I met him one night hanging out in front of a party store; I was lookin for him actually; everyone on the street knew who Todd was. I had found some copper piping in an abandoned house that the heroin addicts missed and made twenty five bucks I wanted to get some weed with it; I knew of Todd everyone did, he was who you went too to get any kinda drug. I had seen him a few times out front of this party store; sitting in his car in the parking lot. I knew you had to go up to his car and then you buy whatever; I sat at the curb near the street for an hour watching him, trying to work up the nerve to go up to his car; I've always had a hard time with people it was easier to just not get close to anybody. So I had "poor social skills" that's what I heard it called one time from a social worker or DHS worker; Todd must of seen me stalking him cause he called me over.

"Hey get over here, what you doin over there?" He yells out to me; I start walking towards his car swinging my arm and lookin back try to act tight even though he scared the shit outta me.

"Nothin man just hanging out" I tell him, as I walk a little closer he looked like someone you didn't fuck with.

"Come here so I can see you" He points to the side of the car by his door and I look around to see if anyone is watchin as I walk over and stood where he pointed.

"Where you stay at? I've never seen you before" Todd asked me, checking me out.

"Naw man I'm just crashing wherever." I tell him. He gets out of his car and I step back giving him room; he sits on the hood of his car and lights a cigarette, holding out the pack to me. I don't smoke really I never have any money to buy any; I take one and he lights it for me; I nod my thanks.

"How old are you and don't be lying to me" He demanded.

"I'm eighteen; straight up man" I reassure him. He looks me over again. He was scary good looking; tough; skinhead, lots of tattoos. You would not fuck with this guy.

"I-I-I was wantin to get some weed" ugggh I sounded nervous; he made me nervous. He looks me up and down again then grabs his crotch.

"You'll suck my dick for it?" he asks as he smirks at me.

"What? I-I-I don't know…I-I-I can pay…I have money" That sounded stupid…I didn't think he'd ask me that.

"Oh you have money do you; did you steal it from mommy and daddy" He asks me sarcastically.

"Naw man; I've got no family; I got twenty bucks though; you want it or not" I'm pissed that he thinks I would steal from my parents; if I had em I wouldn't steal from em. He jumps off the hood of the car making me jump back…I thought he was comin at me. It was always better to be on the defense, on the street at least.

"Get in" Todd tilts his head to the passenger seat, as he walks over to the driver's side; opening the door leaning on the door frame and roof of his car waiting for me.

"I said, get in" He tells me again; what else do I got to do? I guess I'm goin with him; I got nowhere else to go; I get in and we go back to his place; he takes my twenty and we smoke some weed; ate a pizza; watched Reservoir Dogs; he invited me over and I never left, he let me crash at his place, he fed me, he fucked me…he beat the shit out of me. I hug my knees and remember the night over two weeks ago.

Todd pushes me into the back bedroom, its empty except for a dirty mattress it was where Todd usually took me to fuck me. He shoves me hard and I stumble forward bashing the top of my head into the wall making a dent. Todd laughs as he pulls me off the ground by my hair smashing my forehead into the wall. He punches me in the back as he slams me up against the wall.

"Take your clothes off whore" Todd snarls at me. I can hardly catch my breath; I turn around grabbing Todd's shirt.

"Wait! Wait! Come on man; I'll settle down; you have a party goin on man; Come on man; No Todd No" I begged. He took my neck and slammed me back into the wall his face inches from mine I turn away from him trying not to look him in the eyes. I know he's fucked up I saw him smokin that meth shit, I should of left when I saw him, hid out for a couple of days. I'm such a fuckin dumb ass! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

"Are you telling me NO?" He gets in my face; following me when I try to turn my head away.

"You better NOT be telling me NO" Todd growls in my face choking me, his breath smelled like whiskey and cigarettes. I am crying and trying to think of a way out of here. He takes the back of my neck yanking me away from the wall kneeing me in the back of the legs behind my knees; pushes me to the floor.

"Take your clothes off whore" He tells me as he steps to the side and throws my head down to the ground. I fall forward landing on my stomach bashing my chin on the carpet; Todd stomps me on my back then shoves his boot on my neck holding me down.

"NOW" Todd shouts; I move quickly without being told again; I reach my hands down and start undoing my jeans wiggling my hips trying to slide them down with Todd's boot holding my neck to the floor. I can't get them down…this position only letting me go so far…I start bawling I know I'm fucked. He takes his foot off my neck and walks over me; towards my feet he takes my jeans and yanks them the rest of the way off. He drops to his knees on my back and takes my feet and duct tapes my ankles together. Did he bring that with him? He drags me up on the mattress by my feet and yanks me to my knees by my hair.

"Were gonna fuck ya good tonight boy" He warns me laughing.

He yanks my shirt off; grabbing me by my hair; punching me in my back between my shoulders I lean back from the hit as it takes my breath, he takes my arms pulling them behind me duct taping my wrists behind me. I am crying and begging him to stop not carin if I sound like a fuckin pussy.

"Please Todd…Please…" I beg… but I know it doesn't matter now… this is gonna happen…he looks down at me smiling…his pupils tiny dots from the meth…he wraps the duct tape twice around my mouth and head…so no one will hear me…my eyes droop…my body relaxes… I take myself away…focusing on the music out in the front of the house; the laughing and talking; anything but what's happening here…"One of those nights" by Tim McGraw is on and I smile slightly under the duct tape. I love this song…"this is gonna be…one of those nights…Yeah…one of those nights"

I was dehydrated and comatose, my body and mind felt numb by the time Todd finally remembered I was still in the back room; they dumped me in a park. I'm taken to the hospital then here to Harbor Oaks for crazies. I lived with Todd for five years; as fucked up as he was he was my only family…he was my boyfriend, he was all I knew; he left me in that backroom for I don't know how long; it felt like forever; my arms and legs and mouth duct taped; so stoned that he forgot I was there; what he did to me; then dumping me like I was a dead dog in the park when he finally remembers me and gets scared cause I looked like scary shit… No one would miss me if I was gone…I don't have any family…I don't have anyone… Poof…I would just not be here; nothing would be different…I'm just a stupid ghetto whore not worth shit.

The class is ending and some of the people leave, some stay to watch TV. Has that TV been on the whole time?

"Jared, are you Jared Cortez?" the social worker asks me.

"That's me" I say placing my feet on the ground sliding to the edge of the weird couch.

"My name is Kevin, and I am going to go over your after care plan with you."

"My times up huh" I ask as I follow him to a little office, it only had enough room for a small desk and two plastic chairs one for me one for him.

"You got someone picking you up?" he asks. I shake my head no.

"You got somewhere you can go?" I again shake my head no.

"Look, I hate to say this but I know all the shelters are full, is there anyone you can think of that will let you stay with them? We can give you a bus pass." He tells me shaking his head looking upset.

"Hey man a bus pass would be great, thank you" I tell him trying to ease his mind. He smiles at me with relief on his face. He turns the paperwork towards me showing me where it says what medication they are sending me home with and hands me a piece of paper he called a prescription for me to get the rest of my pills. The name of a therapist I had an appointment with on Thursday of this week; _that's never gonna happen_; What day was it today? He tells me to look it over and if I had any questions. I sign at the X and he hands me a bus pass.

"Now what" I ask.

"Get your things from your room and go to the intake desk and someone will escort you out. The bus stop is right out front; can't miss it" He informs me, shaking my hand.

"I have nothin in my room; did I have anything on me when I came in?" I ask. I might be leaving here in hospital scrubs. Fuck all my shit's at Todd's.

"Wait in your room, I'll go check, if not I'll try to find you something to wear out" The social worker says kindly; reading my mind.

I lie on my bed, covering my eyes with my arm. Maybe they will forget about me for a couple hours. Fuck; now what…I guess I could go to one of the clubs and see if I know anyone that would let me crash at their place…who am I kidding I don't know anyone…I had a hard time talking to people…I always felt stupid… I guess I could use the bus pass to take me into Detroit and make my way to Todd's…The thought almost makes me barf…I get up and look at myself in the mirror. I look clean, not too beat up, I had some weight on me from eatin good for over two weeks. I could go to a more classier area, Grosse Point maybe there's a club there that plays killer dance music maybe find someone to hustle…sell my ass…I'd rather do that then go back to Todd's…Todd was always sayin where would I go if I left; that I was too stupid to get a job and no one would pay to fuck my skinny ass…that I was a bad fuck and they'd want their money back… I've only fucked Todd; but he fucks a lot of people so he's probably right…I didn't like sex; it always hurt…Todd said he wasn't a fuckin faggot like me that he would never take it up the ass; he usually had a girlfriend he said he only fucked me to show me who's boss. It was better for me when he had a girlfriend he'd only fuck me a couple times a week and the beatings were less not that he wouldn't beat the shit out of me in front of them but he tried not to scare them off right away. I don't even know what I'm gonna tell em about where I've been for the last two weeks; he'll probably beat me first thing he won't even give me a chance to explain; yeah, I think I'll try my luck in the richer area of Detroit; steer clear of Todd a little while longer; beating now or later…um I think I'll take later, I'm not _that _stupid.

They do forget about me for a couple of hours. I get to sleep for two hours in a bed. Way to work the system Jared.

"Good luck Jared" The sweet faced intern tells me as she taps her badge on the pad to unlock the last door out of Harbor Oaks. Kevin the social worker had found my wallet, thank god, no money but my state I.D. is there and my hat; my black stocking hat that had the word FUCK written in white lettering, I loved this hat, it said it all. He had also found me a pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a hoody. They give me back the shoe laces to my work boots; I take off the rubber bands we all used to hold our shoes on, lacing them up. Not the best look for the nicer clubs but what are ya gonna do? It was actually nicer than I had in a while. I nod to the sweet faced intern and run over to the bus stop as the bus pulls up.


End file.
